The Pivotal Point

No one escapes the hard realities of life. When that happens, three courses appear before you. Get stuck in the hardship, descend into the miseries surrounding it, or persevere to live beyond it. God used profound physical impairments to transform a life from despair and hopelessness to a life with purpose.

Through many years of God’s providing real-life models of perseverance, tools for resilience, and divinely orchestrated opportunities, purpose with living with significant physical impairments emerged.

To God be the glory.

This is His story played out my life.

I was the kid, so it was my job to get out of the truck to unlock the gate when dad and I went to the barn. Dad then drove through. But one day my fingers wouldn’t manipulate the gate lock. I kept trying to grasp the lock, but my fingers just couldn’t manage it. My thumb wouldn’t depress the metal lever on the lock. No matter how much I tried, the lock would not release. Dad finally got out and did the job for me. A little annoyed, I’m sure. How hard was it to unlock a gate? I had done it so many times before. Dad then went ahead and fed the horses.

When we arrived back home to eat lunch lunch, mom had to feed me because I couldn’t hold utensils. Knowing something was not right, I was sent to lay down on my bed while my parents called my pediatrician. On my way back to bed, it was a struggle to keep my legs under me. I had no way of knowing, but those were the last few moments of my life being “normal”. That was the pivotal point. Life as I knew would never be the same.

My parents contacted the doctor and was instructed to head to the emergency room immediately. In those few minutes, paralysis had progressed from just my fingers to my entire entire body from my chest down.

I was twelve years old.

The Race Begins

After many weeks in the local hospital and later at Mayo Clinic, physicians of many specialties evaluated me. The diagnosis confirmed was transverse myelitis-a rare neurological insult (trauma) to the spinal cord causing profound physical impairments.

Up to that point in my life my parents provided all the needs in my life. Up to that point in my life, I had never known despair. 

Upon discharge from the hospital, my mother became my nurse. She fed me, bathed me, and dressed me.  She did every single thing for me except chew my food. My mom can care for me physically, but she couldn’t care for my spiritually. 

Being immobile, my father pushed me in a wheelchair wherever I needed to go.  If he couldn’t get me there in a wheelchair, he would carry me. There were, though, places to which I could not be carried.  His arms could not carry me to the place of acceptance, to the place of contentment, or to the place of perseverance.

My parents did everything for me that was humanly possible.  But, I needed care in ways that were only divinely possible.

At the age of 12, God traded my physical impairments for His spiritual strength. He traded my assumptions for my future for His plans.

It wouldn’t be until many years later I would figure that out.

The Platform

Living with these significant physical impairments and limitations brought so many questions.

What kind life do I have ahead of me, if any?

I couldn’t do one single thing for myself.  Would I always be completely dependent on another person?

Would I ever walk again? Would I ever be completely well?

No doctor or physical therapist had answers.

Will hopelessness always hang over me? And with that came quiet depression. 

Through the process of time, the God of all wisdom and might had the answer to all my questions.  His answers came in the form of real-life models of endurance. He provided tools for resilience. Opportunities arose. He led me from the “normal” world to the “Even Though” world (more about this world in future posts).

Some recovery came. Slowly. By the time I left the hospital a month after admission, I could wiggle my right big toe and and raise my right knee. My right side saw more recovery than my left.

Finger function on my right hand improved enough for me to grip a utensil with my last three fingers. Now I no longer depended on someone to feed me. My thumbs on both hands and fingers on my left moved little and with little strength. Griping a pencil, buttoning buttons, tying shoelaces required relearning a way to get the job done with only three weak fingers. That forced the use of my other fingers on my right hand, weak as they were.

After coming home, physical therapy continued. Recovery continued but significant disability would continue for the rest of my life. Walking with a brace on my left ankle to stabilize my drooping left foot and requiring assistance became my “new normal”.

Fast forward a few years, I attended college and graduate school, traveled to Sweden as an exchange student, and married. God blessed me with three wonderful sons. The progress to an abundant life did not come easily or without constant healing of mind and spirit.

Because of the gift of Himself and adversity, He has given me a powerful platform.  I have, up to this point, reluctantly mounted.

The Purpose

God creates and orchestrates adversity to conform one to the image of Christ. In the refinement of body and soul, comes the call encourage one another to endure hardship and recieve strength. I begin this endeavor striving to accomplish three things:

• The first aim is to equip parents of kids with special needs with Biblical wisdom, practical guidance, and expert insights. I hightlight God’s presence and provision, although invisable at times, in one’s affliction.
• The second is to create a supportive, hope-filled community. This community is rooted in faith and encouragement for fellow parents and care providers as you persevere in parenting a special needs child. So often, the parenting strategies needed are not intuitive. 
• The third is to inspire parents and care-providers to teach their children to persevere in their adversity for God’s glory and their flourishing.

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Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders

and the sin that so easily entangles.

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 

fixing our eyes on Jesus,

the pioneer and perfecter of faith…

Hebrews 12:1-2

You don’t have to persevere alone.

If you are parenting or caring for a child who faces ongoing physical impairments, I invite you to walk this road with us. Here you’ll find hard-won Biblical wisdom, practical guidance, and expert insights to help you persevere with purpose—and help your child flourish.

Join The Way of Perseverance as we learn to encourage one another, celebrate the victories others may overlook, and trust God through the adversity He uses to shape us into the image of Christ.

Everybody has a story. Someone needs to hear yours.

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

• The Test in Adversity: Count It All Joy, Part 1
• Perseverance with Severe Physical Disabilities: Lessons From My Dad
• Perseverance in Adversity: Embracing God’s Purpose
• Meet Melissa
• Assisted Living for Disabled Adults