Pressures of my child “falling short of expectations”.
Mom: I’m back again with another question.
Elohim: Shoot.
Mom: You know my heart. I want to be the best mom I can be for this child in which you entrusted to me. I want him to be the best human he can be.
Elohim: I know. That brings me delight you cannot understand.
Mom: I feel like I have this burden on my shoulders-heavier than I can carry. Then sometimes I feel like I’m a in a narrow place and the sides press in on me to make things happen that I can’t make happen with my child.
Elohim: Oh yes. I know about that.
Mom: The school makes my son take these standardized tests that I know he can’t score well on. Sometimes it seems as though people see my son as lazy or defiant. He’s not!! Sometimes I get the feeling other people think it’s my poor parenting. It weighs heavy on me when I see my son struggle with things other kids can do so easily. I so hurt for him when he struggles to do his best and it is hard for him. And the thing is, he is such a happy child. He delights in wrestling with his brother. You’ve seen him when he sings. That simple thing makes him happy. So, if he is happy and I am happy, is that enough?
Elohim: I think you already know the answer. But first I need to teach you about knitting.
You remember I told you that I knitted each human being in their mother’s womb (Psalm 139:14-15).
Think about this. Tennis balls come off a conveyor belt each one exactly like the other. Babies aren’t tennis balls.
I knit one human being in My image at a time. It’s quite a pleasant but intricate process with near countless stitches. About 3 billion stitches actually. You call them DNA. I call them “very good” (Genesis 1:31).
My love and plan for him dwelt in My mind before I spoke this world into existence (Ephesians 2:10). Some stitches formed his ability to believe me when I tell Him I’m his Father who will always care for him. More stitches made him able to love Me. The frame I knitted is the well from which he will draw the ability to do right by others, to forgive when wronged. My favorite stitches are the ones that compel him put one foot in front of the other in My direction.
Your son is in good company. I knitted into Moses slowness of speech (Exodus 4:11). I didn’t send him to speech therapy. I sent him to speak to a tyrannical ruler of a vast civilization in My stead.
Jacob and I wrestled it out one night (Genesis 32:22-32). The life-long limp I gave him prompted others to ask about his wrestling match with Me. He would tell people I transformed him from deceiver to patriarch. He would tell them that My true blessing comes through:
- weakness, not strength
- surrender not self-reliance
- perseverance not power
Words of Truth…
You take care of training those virtues in your son, and leave the other issues of life to Me (Ecclesiastes 11:1-6).
So, yes Mom, your shared happiness is enough.
What fingerprint of God do you see in your child? Share how you feed that “likeness”?
4 responses to “Wrestling with Expectations: If my child is happy and I am happy, is that enough?”
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First, this blog today was a wonderful worship experience for me. Secondly, I can’t imagine
the emotions you have and have had as you share these things in your blog. R.-
God continues to speak to me and reveal to me ways He has carried me, cared for me, and constructed a platform from which to showcase His purpose and plan for the the hardships of life: physical, mental, financial, marital and in parenting as I work through this blog process. I had no idea on June 7th, 1970 that I would one day use technology I could not have imagined to worship Him. This is worship for me-putting words to “do the good works which God prepared for us to do before their was even light in the sky.
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Thought provoking and encouraging for those raising children.
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I hope so.
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