Misunderstood Autistic Behavior
Why does my autistic child look at his hands while wigging his fingers? Understanding your autistic child can help shed light on behaviours like this.
Why does my autistic daughter place her fingers, all the way to the last knuckle in her mouth?
Why does my autistic child keep a rolled-up tee shirt stuffed up under his shirt?
I need to understand my child’s behavior!
Dr. Prizant can help you understand your child’s autistic behavior.
Dr. Prizant is an Adjunct Professor in the Department of Communications Disorders at the University of Rhode Island and the Director of Childhood Communications Services in Cranston, RI.
He offers wise and transformative insights as a leading scholar, author and Speech-Language Pathologist for 50 years. He draws from research and the perspectives of autistic people and their families. His book Uniquely Human promotes understanding the need behind the atypical behavior rather than just eliminating it. Along with that, using athe autistic person’s strengths and abilities to facilitate coping strategies for this confusing and overwhelming world.
His recent keynote speech at the online Preschool Autism Summit confronts the dehumanizing vocabulary used to describe behaviors often seen in autism. He pushes to identify the reason for the atypical behaviors rather than categorizing them as deviant.
We don’t just want our child(ren) to be diagnosed.
We want our child(ren) to be understood.
We want our child(ren) to thrive.
A flourishing life comes through investing time and effort in your autistic child’s interests and strengths along with shaping coping strategies that are more socially acceptable.
Recognizing the strengths and potential in each autistic individual blossoms from the soil of supportive environments and community.
Advocating is key.
Another key point relates to advocates thinking about autistic people’s connections with society flowing from both professionals and from their own self-advocacy.
Considering both sources, Dr. Prizant discussed the fact that behavior in autism has been misunderstood for decades. For example, descriptions of behavior during the professional’s evaluation process often dehumanized the person. Questions center on how to eliminate or reduce these “inhuman behaviors” versus asking the deep questions.
What the person is communicating by these actions, he asks?
Given that person’s different neurological make-up, what is he/she experiencing?
Why is that experience causing the behavior we see?
Dr. Prizant quotes his friend and colleague Dr. T. Berry Brazelton regarding that “unusal” behvior. He states that “every child is a whole human being, even though difficulties exist.” Amen!
Many professionals are trained and parents are positioned to help the autistic child “right the course of their development”.
Understanding Autistic Behavior
His keynote speech focuses on the following key issues related to understanding the behvior exhibited by autistic individuals.
- Understanding the behavior of autistic children, including their challenges and experience.
- Debunking the belief that autism is a tragedy for the child and family.
Understanding the behavior of autistic children, including his/her challenges and experiences.
Descriptions of observable behavior of autistic people used in current literature often reflect the demeaning mindset from which their behavior is interpreted. He considers these kinds of descriptors as “pathologizing”:
- Non-compliant/stubborn
- Manipulative
- Rude
- Bizarre/avoidant
- Deviant/challenging
- Obsessive
- Self-stimulation (We now know it can be a way to self-regulate, feel grounded.)
- Non-functional
- Meaningless/irrelevant
- Perseverance (Continuing to perform an action when it is no longer appropriate.)
- Non-communicative
I wholeheartedly agrre with his opinion on this!
Let’s interpret those same behaviors from a “uniquely human” frame of mind.
Autistic people:
- Rarely lie
- Live in the moment
- Rarely judge others
- Are passionate
- Are not tied to social expectations
- Have terrific memories
- Are less materialistic
- Have fewer hidden agendas
- Can have an advantage in life when their special interests are applied to their career.
Early in life many behaviors can be downright annoying and embarrassing as a parent. But I’m here to tell you, based on my own sons’ and the children of other friends and acquaintances, those same characteristics fortified their job performance. As it does in the lives of those of us not on the spectrum!
One quote Dr. Prizant made completely aligns with my opinion:
“Passions are a well-spring of opportunities and offer possibilities.”
To illustrate this position, he describes an autistic young man who presents with a rather dramatic tone of voice and range of intensity. /this young man now uses his distinctive and engaging manner of speaking to read to children in libraries. Just think of the imagination he ignites in the minds of these children as he reads!
He discusses the fact that self-stimming is the person’s way of coping when experiencing fear, chaos, or being overwhelmed. He then recommends, rather than attempting to eliminate self-stimming; instead, training in more socially appropriate coping skills.
Personal notes:
Behaviors labeled as “obsessions” in current literature, in my opinion, are demeaning. Dr. Prizant calls them “passions” or “deep interests” or “enthusiasm”. This presents much more humane way to interpret this characteristic.
Think about the dedication each occupation or vocation requires.
Do you want an air traffic controller managing the take-off or landing of the plane on which you are traveling not to be obsessive in the accurate performance of his job???
What about the drive-through bank teller? How “obsessive” do you want that person to be in the correct depositing of your funds into your account???
Given that, think about the contributions to society when a person with an “obsession” is allowed to “obsess”?
Anyone heard of Anne Sullivan?
She was the woman who taught Helen Keller to communicate through sign language and read via braille. She had opportunities to teach others, but she declined in order to spend all her efforts on one person: Helen.
Helen, in turn, became a humanitarian, educator, and writer.
Thank goodness Sullivan was “obsessed” with providing a way for a singular, dually disabled person to flourish.
Anyone heard of Temple Grandin?
Because of her “obsessions” as an autistic person, she became a renowned animal behaviorist, college professor, and autism advocate. Generations to come will benefit from her “obsessions”.
Debunking the tragedy myth.
Dr. Prizant starts by addressing the myth that a child with autism is a tragedy by quoting Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in 2015
“Autism destroys the lives of millions of children and shatters their families.”
Dr. Prizant relates the story of a young autistic boy who sends a letter in response to Kennedy’s statement as follows:
Dear Mr. Kennedy,
I strongly object to your statement regarding autistic children. Not all their lives have been destroyed. I should know because I have autism and my life is good and I have a family that loves me. So on behalf of myself and all my friends with autism, I ask you to support autistic children in the future rather than insult them. Anything you can do to help them instead of hurting them would be appreciated.
This kid is wise beyond his years! I can’t help but think he had some incredible parents investing in him the inherent value of each human being, the importance of self-advocacy, and the respect due others even if the person demeans you or disagrees with you.
I can only imagine how this earnest letter influenced Mr. Kennedy.
My takeaways from this keynote speech:
- Each human is inherently valuable.
- Each person, including autistic people, is a unique, mixed bag of capabilities and struggles.
- Each person has something to contribute.
Understanding Changes Everything
Your child’s behavior may be communicating something you haven’t yet learned to recognize. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” begin by asking, “What is my child trying to tell me?”Keep learning to see your child’s challenges, strengths, passions, and possibilities through a lens of compassion and hope.
Explore more practical wisdom for helping your child persevere and flourish at The Way of Perseverance.
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