Practical Life Skills Rooted in Faith for Every Child—No Matter the Challenges

I laid my youngest son James down in his crib after nursing him one night. Based on his lack of need to cuddle when nursing struck me as odd. He didn’t seem to want or need me holding or cuddling him in general. The older two sons seemed to need me much more when they were infants.

I remember looking down at him that night. I thought: either he is cognitively developmentally delayed. Or he just doesn’t like me. But what infant doesn’t like their mother?

About a year later, he was diagnosed with being on the Autism Spectrum. I had secretly suspected that. But reading those words on the evaluation report made it clear. There was a real possibility he may never live independently. A quick internet search into people on the spectrum living independently resulted in a wide range: 5-79 percent. Such a wide gap indicates differences are probably definitions of “independent living”. Either way, I knew that skills to prepare him for independence would need intentional teaching. He would also need practice on his part. I wrestled with what does it take to live alone with Autism Spectrum in the equation.

We all want to raise children who are ready to step into the world as productive members of society. We hope they become loving family members. We want them to be engaged citizens who contribute to their communities.

God promises that He has a life of purpose for every child. This purpose brings fulfillment. It holds true no matter their struggles or perceived “impairments.”

Below are eight essential skills that help prepare our children for the big world beyond home.

The Foundation…

Matthew 22:37–39
Jesus replied:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Everything else flows from this foundation.

Personal Faith…

The habits of regular Bible reading and prayer are formed in childhood. While busy schedules, homework, and extracurricular make consistency challenging, these practices anchor God’s values in a child’s heart and mind.

The world beyond home is a battlefield—our children need to learn how to suit up. Regular church attendance nurtures affection for God’s community and provides opportunities to serve.

Serving others…

Begin close to home—grandparents or other relatives are a great place to start. Serving others teaches children that they are not the center of the universe. It shows them they are valued members of a family and community.

Self-confidence often grows best when a child sees their ability to help someone else.

Relationships…

Some children are natural social butterflies; others are content with solitude. Both, however, need at least one or two close relationships where honesty, shared interests, and trust can grow.

Healthy relationships must be explicitly taught. Children need guidance to discern whether someone is a true friend or someone seeking to take advantage. Emotional regulation, self-advocacy, and boundary-setting are essential skills.

Communication skills…

Every human interaction relies on listening and expressing thoughts clearly—verbally and non-verbally.

Communication may be simple or complex, spoken or written. Functional reading is about an eighth-grade level and allows independence. Functional writing includes personal information such as name, address, phone number, and age. Keyboarding skills are essential—even if it’s just “hunt and peck.”

God has given us sound minds. Parents have daily opportunities to strengthen their child’s ability to understand the world. They help their child find their place in it.

Reasoning skills—recognizing patterns, sequences, and cause-and-effect—are essential for problem-solving. Logical thinking supports reading, math, academic success, and everyday decision-making.

Home skills…

Cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry are foundational skills for independent living. Thankfully, these are practical skills that can be taught step by step and practiced daily.

Money Management…

Children need both instruction and practice when it comes to money. Money is not merely for spending—it is for managing wisely.

I’ve created an info-graphic summarizing the various skills. It’s handy to have visible. We as parents and others involved with our child often get caught up in the weeds. You know your child. What tasks or areas of learning does your child struggles with mediocre performance? What gets their engine running? What are things that come easily for him/her? This info-graphic can help determine what is necessary for progressing to adulthood and what is not. I wished I had had something like this to help decide on which to spend significant time and effort.

The teaching all these life skills seem daunting…

God gave a solution to this daunting task of preparing our children for adulthood. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, while you lie down and when you get up.” Moses is writing about the teaching and training of the ten commandments here. The same process can be applied to the skills needed in adulthood. He suggests modeling for anything you do to keep life moving. This includes reading the Bible regularly, cooking, or paying the bills. Explain what you are doing and why. Involve them in some part of that task.

All of these skills require starting at a basic level. Then gradually progress to completing the selected task correctly and independently. You can teach and train consistently. But kids don’t always see the need for these skills, much less want to acquire them!

Maturity is often compared to an internal clock readying a child for specific skills. It would be nice if you could rush that maturity. It would make parents lives easier, but it develops when it’s ready.

As you know, teaching and training can often be exhausting and frustrating for you as the parent. So is learning and practicing for your child.

Be patient with your child. Be patient with yourself.

Consider the ways in which you are already preparing your child for their life ahead. Persevere.

Parent Reflection…

• Which areas feel strongest for my child right now?
• Which one area feels most challenging?
• What does progress look like for my child this season?
• What small step can your child practice this month?
• Where do I need support, grace, or rest as a parent?

For we are God’s handiwork, 
created in Christ Jesus 
to do good works, 
which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

Your child’s strengths and weakness…

Next blog posts will tackle the approach of finding and feeding your child’s strengths first! Then managing his/her weaknesses!

let’s help each other out! What skills are you targeting with your child? What tips can you offer others that have worked for you?