Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds…
James 1:2-3
…when you face trials of many kinds…
“Various kinds!” What?!?! Does he mean I won’t have to face just a single obligatory trial in my life and be done with it?
Apparently many will come .
And they did.
I don’t know about you. But, as a child, I didn’t spend much time thinking about the future. I wasn’t an insightful child. Like a butterfly, I just flitted around in my loving and protected little world enjoying all the sunshine and beauty.
Time would reveal to me I did have expectations hidden in my head.
My parents genuinely loved and supported one another. Our relationships with grandparents on both sides were loving. Dad worked hard as a successful home builder. Mom took what he brought home and created a sanctuary that we called home. We weren’t rich, but money was never an issue. My parents lived below their means. I and my 2 sisters knew we were love and supported. They presented a united front in parenting and discipline.
I expected the same. That was all I had ever known.
Adversity and adjustment…
It never even occurred to me that:
- disability, loneliness, financial chaos, or failure would march right in and invade my life someday.
- that an afflicted body would last a lifetime.
- jarring was the realization that a relationship could be exhausting.
- struggling with financial problems produced bitterness.
- children would reflect the numerous ways I was unfit to be a parent and unprepared to raise a godly human being.
Since I was 12 years old, life unfolded in the rhythm of adversity and adjustment.
Just like new tires on your vehicle. They start out gripping the road with stability, no matter how rough is the road. But after a while on those roads with cracks and potholes, the tread wears. Tires can be rotated only so many times before the tread is just worn off. Rotating no longer helps mitigate the wear. I too had rotated and adjusted until I had no tread left.
Perseverance is a noble word, as long as you don’t have to live it.
Faith is another noble word. When living on easy street, it can roll off your tongue like poetry.
But then one challenge invades. It doesn’t retreat. Pretty soon another one invades on it’s heels. Finances don’t improve. Relationships don’t mend. Demands on your strength increases. Challenges pile up like snow banks in a blizzard.
When exhaustion consumes the day, faith becomes the energy to finish when you’re to tired to see it.
God’s promises…
I found myself praying the scriptures in God’s promises when falling apart. These scriptures and stories from the Bible were learned when I was a child. A struggling mind searches the memory for a lifeline when drowning.
When parenting demands more than you have, where will you turn?
The following is something I wrote to anchor my mind to His promises.
Commitment from Adonai
My creation, My child, My delight.
I will continue to fulfill my promises to you as I always have. All I require is that you love and obey Me.
I’ll take care of the rest.
Remember I have committed to you My provision, My joy, My wisdom, My strength, My forgiveness.
Remember your soul is in the palm of my hand.
You are my handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works I have planned for you.
I will be faithful to provide you the abundant life I promised.
If My plan for you is mobility or wheelchair dependence,
I will make a way.
If My plan for you is pain or ease, I will give you perseverance.
If My plan for you is ample means or meager means,
I will supply all your needs.
If My plan for you is solitude,
I will give you fulfillment,
I am your Wonderful Counselor, your Might God,
your Everlasting Father and your Prince of Peace.
Commitment To Adonai
To My Wonderful Counselor, My Mighty God,
My Everlasting Father, My Prince of Peace
I am Yours. You are mine.
I commit to You, I will continue to do the things you teach me to do, and leave the rest to you.
I commit to You; my health, my work, my finances, my children, my house, my mind, will, and emotions.
You already have my soul.
I am your handiwork, created in Christ Jesus
to do good works You have planned for me.
I know You will be faithful to provide the abundant life You promised.
If I am mobile or wheelchair bound, I will praise you.
If I am in comfort or in pain, I will praise you.
If I have a companion or if I am alone, I will praise you.
If I work or I don’t work, I will praise you.
If I live in ample means or meager means, I will praise you.
Anchors of hope from childhood…
Anchors secure a ship in a fixed and safe place. It doesn’t merely sit on top of the ocean’s floor, but embeds itself to resist any forces that might cause drifting into danger and destruction. That holding power of the anchor is paramount.
My venerable physical condition and immaturity were little resistance against forces from within and without. I had no skills to withstand the forces assailing my mind and heart: depression and despair. The places outside my home, the world into which I must live was an obstacle course given my physical (this was long before ADA regulations). Fortunately for me, I was small and my dad was strong. Anywhere I couldn’t get to in my wheelchair, he carried me.
Kids with special needs or trying circumstances grow up. How they adjusted to these adversities will determine how they handle the future storms of life.
The Wonderful Counselor and the efforts of my parents secured the anchor from which I adjusted and thrived. As James promised, additional adversities blew in to test the holding power of my anchor of hope in Everlasting Father.
The efforts of The Wonderful Counselor were His faithfulness to meet all my needs. Some aspects of His efforts remain a mystery.
The daily efforts of my parents:
- attending church was a way of life
- verbal and physical affirmation that I was loved
- allotting time, resources and provision for anything I needed to improve and prosper
- loving and caring for my grandparents (teaching me I was not the center of the universe)
- provision of opportunities for activities I could participate in and tailored to my interests (reading, art, horses)
- providing me a college education
As James promised, additional adversities will blow in to test the holding power of one’s anchor of hope in of the Everlasting Father. Your efforts, coupled with those of the Wonderful Counselor, will strengthen your child(ren) as he/she/they adjust and prosper for tomorrow, next year and in adulthood.
Consider what efforts you employ in the raising of your child. Be encouraged. It may take years or decades to see the fruit of your labor of love.
I look forward to hearing the story of your labor of love with your child(ren).
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