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Working in a wheelchair can be shocking!
People can say the funniest things to you when you are “disabled”.
One of the funniest occurred when I worked as a Speech-Language Pathologist in the local hospital in the Physical Rehabilitation. Personnel working on a Rehabilitation unit include not only nurses, but Physical Therapists, Occupational Therapists and Case Managers. As a team, we provided treatment for patients recovering from a wide variety of conditions such as surgery, strokes, head and bone injuries.
It was my job was to diagnose and treat patients exhibiting a any number of cognitive, communication, voice, and swallowing problems. The patients I with which I worked had suffered strokes, head injuries, Parkinson’s Disease, head and neck cancer, cognitive decline and many more disorders and diseases.
An elderly woman in rehabilitation for “functional decline” was one of my patients. I’ll call her “Betty”.
“Functional decline” means that as Betty’s body aged, she became weak and weaker with increasingly greater difficulty with cognition-orientation, memory, sequencing, organizing, reasoning, problem-solving, and judgement. Living at home alone safely had become impossible for her.
So her doctor ordered a period of time in rehab in hopes of her increasing strength, cognition, and ability to perform activities of daily living (i.e. bathing, dressing, meal preparation). She and her family desired for her to return home, living independently with as little support as possible.
Betty and I worked towards her goals that addressed her cognitive: working memory, orientation, problem-solving, recall of strategies used to walk and perform activities of daily living safely.
I saw her for therapy three times/week for an hour in her hospital room. By the time of the following conversation, I had been treating her for a little more than three weeks-a total of about ten, one-hour sessions.
I need to relate some context here.
Immediately after becoming a quadriplegic, I required a wheelchair full-time. My mobility improved and I began walking, although with a significantly impaired gate and balance. The level of my mobility fluctuated many times. Over the years, I have relied on a forearm crutch, a walker and a wheelchair (only for long distances). I have also been in and out of a wheelchair 3 times, all while working full-time.
For the entirety of my work life (now retired) I worked as a Speech-Language Pathologist in my local school system, my local hospital, hospice, home health, and area nursing homes.
One Friday I rolled into her room and began our therapy session. After about 30 minutes into therapy of session #10, she became aware I was in a wheelchair. Noticing that fact, she asked me a few questions.
Betty: Are you in a wheelchair?
Melissa: Yes.
Betty: How long have you been in a wheelchair?
Melissa: About three years now.
Betty: How come you are in a wheelchair?
Melissa: It’s a long story but… (And then I gave her the X-length version of my story.)
Betty: And they let you work here????
Melissa: Shocking, isn’t it? (Spoken with a tone of voice reflecting both disbelief and amusement.)
My fellow therapists and I got a lot of laughs out of that story!
Delicious maple syrup is made by boiling down collected sap. No matter what you pour it over or mix in into, that sweetness just enhances the flavor!
Reflecting on Betty’s response helped me boil down the strategies God worked within me for working even though physically disabled.
Hopefully, the strategies I learned will bring sweetness to the day to day challenges you meet raising a child that requires skills that may not be intuitive.
Just like it takes a maple tree 40 years to produce sap, it took me about that long to boil it down to the following.
3 Essentials for Employment Despite Disability
The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that people with a disability between the ages of 16 to 64, is only 38.1 percent in 2025.
In simpler terms, only 9 “disabled” people out of 100 are gainfully employed.
Strategic planning to prepare myself for employment in my high school years was not even on my radar. How in the world I fell into that 38.1 percent group of employed disabled people is completely due to my parents’ efforts and God’s opportunities.
Education, independence, and productivity were non-negotiable in my parents’ world. My two sisters and I were expected to do our best in school. Both of sisters held jobs in high school. Jobs for high school students require muscle and mobility, so that left me out.
I did hold a small job briefly in high school. More on that later.
Looking back on my childhood and young adult years, successful employment was result of three areas or preparation.
1. What You Think about Your Disability
Teach your child to think about their strengths, not their disability.
People get jobs based on their strengths, not their weaknesses. Help your child recognize their “smarts” what is generally referred to as “strengths”. Point out, praise and feed what comes easily to your child. Even if those strengths may not seem “job-worthy” at the time.
Math is not my strength. I can’t add two and two and come up with four every time. Encouragement, on the other hand, is a strength for me.
Efforts required by my speech therapy students to progress toward achieving their goals was difficult. Intelligible speech didn’t come naturally to my students on my speech therapy caseload. Attempting to correctly place their tongue at just the right spot, at just the right time in their mouth to produce misarticulated speech sounds is extremely difficult! Correct production of the sound took many attempts and many months to acquire even an approximation of the correct production of that sound. Moreover, most kids didn’t have just one sound to train for intelligible production, but many.
If you have a child in speech therapy, you know the struggle.
If you have a child working on mobility in physical therapy, you know the persistence it requires of your child.
If you have a child in occupational therapy working on handwriting, you know their frustrations.
Graduate school professors never taught the fact that students need constant encouragement to persevere in improving communication.
A budding “skill” in my childhood of sympathy and encouragement looked nothing like a requisite for a job. Later I would come to understand its importance in fostering persistence in my students. My speech therapy students required “cheer-leading”-which came natural to me.
My youngest son James is on the Autism Spectrum and higher functioning. Trench coats became a fascination for him in middle school. He wore one to school every day. “Trench” became his nickname. Business style clothes became his preference over jeans and T-shirts. He was very good at talking his two grandmothers into taking him to Goodwill to shop for his style of apparel. Compassion for people and animals began surfacing at a young age. Being bullied in middle school not only taught him endurance but also a heart for others in any distress.
After high school he got his dream job-working at Goodwill. The customers loved him. He knew what day the regulars would come in, their names, the object of their search and helped the customer locate the desired item(s). Often, customers came into the store asking for specifically for him to help them.
He also possesses a sought-after quality in the workplace: reliability. For some reason he exhibits an extremely effective immune system. I don’t remember him missing more than one day of school due to sickness. He has worked at Taco Bell, Goodwill, and currently Walmart for a total of 8 years. In that time, he has called in sick once and left work early once. He consistently arrives at work early and stays late when required.
What name is on his badge at work? Trench.
Teach your child that their disability is an “inconvenience” not a “dis-qualifier”.
Just because your child uses a wheelchair, that doesn’t prevent employment. It does make things more difficult. Managing heavy doors, steep ramps, uneven pavement, or navigating in rain, snow and ice requires problem-solving. The world outside of your home offers innumerable opportunities for teaching and modeling ways to overcome physical the obstacles in day-to-day life. Look for alternate entrances, know where curb ramps are usually located, and understand that older buildings will often be harder to access than new buildings.
Teach your child use his/her strengths for
the common good.
No lack of opportunities and occasions exist for volunteering ones talents.
One mom I recently spoke with takes advantage of scheduled visits to church members in assisted living. Her non-verbal child enjoys interacting with the residents by communicating through eye contact, hugs, and smiles.
My son James a attended a private school for kids on the Autism Spectrum in grades eight through the twelve. A few students that had from that school came to work there as custodians. Most of these young adults exhibited limited social skills. In addition, several young adults on the spectrum volunteered there as a teacher’s aids. One of them was highly skilled in technology and became a teacher for the technology classes. Since it was a private school, no college degree was required-just competency. This was a place that was willing to accept their “quirkiness” and valued their hard work.
Teach your child to make small incremental steps toward employment. As I mentioned earlier, I held a job briefly when I was about 16. My mom knew a local artist who framed her own paintings. I went to work for her a day or two a week for about 4 hours. Apparently, I did a less than stellar job since I remember working for her only for a sort time. That’s embarrassing.
However, it was the first, small step in preparing for work. I practiced showing up on time, dressing appropriately for the job, completing given tasks timely and independently, and learning new skills.
James also took advantage of opportunities to work on a supervised volunteer basis. The private middle and high school for kids o the Autism Spectrum he attended collaborated with a local elder day care facility. His job was to visit with the adults there, serve them lunch, and escort the disoriented ones from room to room as the day progressed. It was a fit well with his strengths as he was very comfortable with the elderly and thoroughly enjoyed social interaction. This environment and the seniors he interacted with were accepting of his quirky social skills.
Other broad categories such as developmental, intellectual, social/emotional, or specific learning disabilities each come with their own set of unique challenges to meet. The specifics of the mode of communication, complexity of message for self-advocacy will take creativity and a trial and error process.
2. What To Say About His/Her Disability
Teach your special needs children to talk
more about his/her strengths than weaknesses.
Derail common assumptions that your child’s “disability” is their identity. The words you say to your child and, in turn, what you teach him/her to say about themselves communicates his/her identity.
If your child lines cars or toys up in a row versus playing with them, say “You are a very organized person.”
When others observe your child lining up cars or toys, model for that child “I am an organized person.”
If your child rapidly shifts attention from one thing to another, say “You are a quick-thinking person.” Or “You can adapt to changing situations quickly.”
When others consider your child having a short attention span, he/she can reply: “I am a quick-thinking person.” Or “I am a person that can switch gears quickly when needed.” Caveat: He/she cannot use this as an excuse when not completing required tasks.
Reinforce the fact that their disability is a part of their identity, but not the sum total of it.
This loops back to the recognition of their natural strengths above.
Teach your child
self-advocacy.
Sometimes there is no way to get somewhere in a wheelchair or with limited mobility without help.
A man I had never laid eyes came to my aid and helped me up when I fell in a bathroom. Let me explain.
The outpatient rehabilitation center of the local hospital where I worked had a reception office at one end and the physical therapy gym at the other. Along the hall, various therapy rooms and the bathroom with the doors opening up into the hallway. The bathroom door opened up, not to a bank of stalls, just a single sink and toilet. I used a walker at that time. Opening the door to exit the bathroom, I tripped and fell. Just at the moment I fell inside the bathroom a man walked by. He noticed my predicament. It’s kind of hard to miss a woman flailing around on a bathroom floor. Naturally he offered to help me up and get my walker in front of me. As embarrassed as I was, I accepted his help. (You haven’t lived until you have had a complete stranger pick you up while you are in a bathroom.)
People are very accommodating to “disabled” people-you just need to tell them what you need. (If I had a dollar for every time I asked a complete stranger to help me up off the ground or move obstacles in passageways to narrow for a wheelchair or walker, I would be a rich woman.)
As a parent of a special needs child, those challenges take perseverance and time to manage.
Be encouraged:
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time
we will reap a harvest
if we do not give up.
3. What Your Special Needs Child Does
Practice having a job.
Begin building interest in and skills for holding down a job. Success in the future is built by small increments in the number of jobs held, time required for a completing a job, and complexity of the job.
Take advantage of any opportunities available to put your child’s strengths to good use, such as family household chores, volunteer jobs in the church or community, or short-term jobs.
Just a side note: volunteer jobs, whether they are short-term or on-going, are innumerable.
- An animal shelter for animal lovers.
- Ushers at performing arts centers for music lovers
- Visitors for nursing homes or assisted living residents for people-lovers.
Work outside the home.
This offers the opportunity for to find his/her own way of attacking problems that arise. Mistakes will be made and that’s part of the process.
Obtain a skill by on-the-job-training, trade school, or college.
Personally, as a young adult with a physical disability, facing challenges, figuring to to manage those challenges-all without an audience-was the best situation in which to find my way in the workplace. With no one watching me make mistakes and correct mistakes in the process of the multitude of challenges-accessing buildings, rooms, crowds and setting up my workspace that was functional for me eliminated stress.
“Let us not cease to do the utmost,
that we may incessantly go forward in the way of the Lord; and let us not despair
of the smallest of our accomplishments.”
John Calvin
Teach your special needs child to dress for success.
Dress and maintain hygiene appropriate for the workplace.
Our culture now accepts people showing up for interviews in ripped jeans, graphic T-shirts, and an unkempt appearance.
Attire and hygiene reflecting an attitude of seriousness to performing the desired job will set him/her above other applicants.
Moreover, it will communicate their “disability” is secondary to their capability to do the desired job, thereby solving the company’s problem of finding a dedicated worker.
Persevere.
Chances are very good that mistakes will be made in attempts to obtain a skill or perform as expected in a volunteer or paid job.
Figure out what went wrong, try to improve and keep going.
Keep in mind, children growing up without “disabilities” go through the same exact process.
Employment preparation doesn’t begin with a résumé—it begins with a mindset.
Help your child recognize their strengths, practice responsibility, and take small steps toward independence. With perseverance, encouragement, and God’s grace, today’s small victories can become tomorrow’s opportunities.
But you say “My child will never realistically hold a job.” The next blog post addresses this issue to comparing “employment” to “vocation”. Check it out.
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