Pressures of my child “falling short of societal and educational expectations”.
Question to Creator God
Me: I’m back again with another question.
Creator God: Shoot.
Me: You know my heart. I want to be the best mom I can be for this child you placed in my care. I want him to be the best human he can be-to flourish.
Creator God: I know. That brings me delight you cannot understand.
Me: I feel like I’m a in a narrow place and the sides press in on me. Expectations of society and the educational system strive to evaluate my child’s ability to perform with numbers and statistics. The pressure on me to conform my child to their expectations is wearisome.
Creator God: Oh yes. I know about that.
Me: The school makes my son take these standardized tests I know he can’t score well on. Sometimes people see my son as lazy or defiant. He’s not!! Sometimes I get the feeling other people think it’s my poor parenting. It weighs heavy on me when I see my son struggle with things other kids can do so easily. And the thing is, he is such a happy child. He delights in wrestling with his brother. You’ve seen him when he sings. That simple thing makes him happy. So, if he is happy and I am happy, is that enough?
Creator God: I think you already know the answer. But first, let’s talk about knitting.
Answers from Creator God
You remember I told you that I knitted each human being in their mother’s womb (Psalm 139:14-15).
Think about this. Tennis balls come off a conveyor belt each one exactly like the other in composition and appearance.
Babies aren’t tennis balls.
I knit one human being in My Image at a time.
It’s quite a pleasant and intricate process with near countless stitches. About 3 billion stitches. You call them DNA. I call them “very good” (Genesis 1:31).
My love and plan for him dwelt in My Mind before I spoke this world into existence (Ephesians 2:10). Some stitches formed his ability to believe me when I tell Him I’m his Father who will always care for him. More stitches made him able to return My love. His likeness of me is the well from which he will draw the ability to do right by others and to forgive when wronged.
A Company of Unique Humans
Your son is in good company.
I knitted into Moses slowness of speech (Exodus 4:11).
I didn’t send him to speech therapy.
I sent him to speak to a tyrannical ruler of a vast civilization in My stead.
Jacob and I wrestled it out one night (Genesis 32:22-32). The life-long limp I gave him prompted others to ask about his wrestling match with Me. He would tell people I transformed him from deceiver to patriarch. He would tell them that My true blessing comes through:
- weakness, not strength
- surrender not self-reliance
- perseverance not power
A Society of Happy Humans
Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount about the happy human. The society in which Jesus reigns values not performance evaluated by man, but godly character and conduct.
God’s wisdom teaches us to use the everyday circumstances to train up our children in what it means to live the good life, to be happy.
Happiness in God’s society rests in recognizing our need of Him. Conversely, our society deifies winning, achievement, and power. News reporting focuses on the physically superior winning coveted awards, brilliant minds contributing to scientific discovery, and the power brokers managing the affairs of the world. Are we to leave untapped our divinely gifted skills and talents. Of course not! Even so, the truly happy person relies on the God from whom the very life blood and breath comes.
Happiness in God’s society rates character as foundational. Contentment comes to those whose driving desire of those to do right by others. The happy human receives kindness and goodwill as a direct result of it first being given.
Happiness in God’s society rewards those that bless when made fun of, misrepresented as “less”, or when treated with cruelty. The reward to status-oriented and performance-based society is invisible. To the person living in this polluted world, the reward may seem clouded, but nonetheless present.
So, yes Mom, your shared happiness is enough.
You take care of training those godly characteristics and manners of conduct in your child. Leave the other issues of life to Me (Ecclesiastes 11:1-6).
What emerging godly characteristics and conduct do you see in your child? I would love to hear about the shared happiness between you and your special needs child.
4 responses to “Wrestling with Expectations: If my child is happy and I am happy, is that enough?”
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First, this blog today was a wonderful worship experience for me. Secondly, I can’t imagine
the emotions you have and have had as you share these things in your blog. R.-
God continues to speak to me and reveal to me ways He has carried me, cared for me, and constructed a platform from which to showcase His purpose and plan for the the hardships of life: physical, mental, financial, marital and in parenting as I work through this blog process. I had no idea on June 7th, 1970 that I would one day use technology I could not have imagined to worship Him. This is worship for me-putting words to “do the good works which God prepared for us to do before their was even light in the sky.
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Thought provoking and encouraging for those raising children.
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I hope so.
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